Whistlestop Edinburgh Old Town Tour

by robertmcnicol

As you both know, when I’m not filling the electro-pages of this here blog, I have one of those thrillingly exciting day jobs working for MI5 to hunt down members of cryptofascist international terrorist organisations beginning with the letter T. Once every year, me and the other lads and lasses gather in a top-secret conference centre in one of a number of medium-sized northern European towns and get down to some serious Sudoko. This year, you will be pleased to hear, I won the bronze badge for Looking Through Binoculars at Inappropriately Innocent and/or Scantily-clad Civilians.

Anyways, my wonderful superiors at MI5 gave me a little time off for bad behaviour in which I managed to surruptitiously take a few photographs of the city I was in. You may be able to identify said city through the photos contained herein, or by deciphering the cunning clue in the title of this blog post.

The architecture in this city has a range of peculiarities. It is characterised by the use of a lot of solid, hard-wearing grey stone. And, whilst I didn’t have an opportunity to venture into the new town part of the city (all Georgian gentility and grand, wide crescents) there is a strong Classical bent in the buildings of the old town. Like this:

And like this:

But there’s also your medium-sized gothic cathedral sitting around the place:

Faux-baronial fancy hotels (with some serious corbelling. Yes people – that’s right. Those corner turrets are known as corbel turrets due to their sticky-outy-ness from the wall. And I really like the camouflage markings; very 90s):

Then, just when you think you’ve got the measure of a place, they bung in some serious ogee curves:

Splash out on some weighty deco:

And build an attractive faux-medeival war memorial atop their nost famous castle:

Oh, and yes – there’s a castle on a splendid volcano:

With some solid Jacobean utilitarianism:

A fancy palace down the road:

Some actually properly old houses with little windows and gables and everything:

Some really silly Victorian fancies (with a car infront. Sorry; I’m way too horizontal to even consider cropping):

And then they go all new-school, abandon the serious grey stone and bung up some fancy new parliament building. Now, I’m sure it’s all very sybolically correct and wonderful inside and practically a marvel, but from the outside it just looks messy. Sorry, but there it is:

And so that concludes our whistlestop tour. Naturally, you understand, if either of you manage to decipher my complex series of clues and identify the topographically-influenced city in question, and if you furthermore choose to inform loved-ones who may or may not be members of the Azerbijani military, and if furthermore I happen to find out about it, and if furthermore Rory’s Fudge Shop is closed this afternoon and I get serious sugar withdrawl, then I assure you, trouble will ensue. Trouble I say. Trouble.

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