Surprised you there, didn’t I?

by robertmcnicol

Alright, ALRIGHT already!! I’m coming back. I’m getting weary of your haranguing and boiled teddy bears in the post and the endless cajoling of the mindless public, the salacious rumours of my whereabouts, the gossip over whether or not I might have begun studying something called – with droll irony – “planning”, the pots of Farrow & Ball paint tipped calmly through my letterbox (I’m fairly sure it was “setting plaster” but it might have been “dead salmon”. The light in my hallway isn’t best), the beastly scribblings on the wall of my favourite cubicle in Hove Town Hall (yes, I KNOW I don’t work there anymore, but the glam drabness of the place gets me every time. And it’s on the way home, so…), the inane chatter of the drug-addled classes clamouring for my take on revolution in the Arab world, the student revolt, the sneering, dripping hatred of our charmless, simple-minded political masters and the state of pediments (YES!) – split and otherwise – in the climate of proto-dystopian wilderness that is our built environment. ALL THIS AND PROBABLY LESS will come your way. Soon. Ish. You people. Why I oughtta…


Hugs and kisses.